Writing an obituary is one of those tasks that arrives at the worst possible time. You're grieving, you're exhausted, and suddenly you're staring at a blank document trying to compress an entire human life into 200 words before a newspaper deadline.
The good news: obituaries follow a fairly consistent structure that, once you understand it, makes the writing much more manageable. The hard part isn't the format — it's finding the right words for the parts that matter most.
This guide walks you through every element of a well-written obituary, offers a fill-in template to get you started, and addresses what most families realize too late: an obituary is a starting point, not the whole story.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written notice of someone's death, typically published in a newspaper or online news outlet, that announces their passing and provides a summary of their life. It serves two practical purposes: it notifies the community that someone has died, and it provides basic information about memorial services.
Beyond the practical, a good obituary does something more. It gives the people who knew and loved someone a chance to see them acknowledged publicly — their name in print, their life given weight and permanence in the public record.
What an obituary is not is a complete tribute. Word limits, newspaper costs, and the nature of public announcement all constrain it. The full portrait — the stories, the photos, the voices of everyone who loved them — lives elsewhere. More on that later.
What to Include in an Obituary
Obituary Elements Checklist
How to Structure an Obituary
Most obituaries follow a time-tested structure. You don't have to be creative with the format — save your energy for the words themselves.
The opening line
Lead with the announcement of passing. Keep it simple and direct. There are two common approaches: formal ("It is with deep sadness that the family of [Name] announces their passing...") or narrative ("Margaret Eleanor Walsh, beloved mother and grandmother, passed away peacefully on Tuesday..."). The narrative approach tends to feel warmer and more personal.
Life summary
Move chronologically through the major chapters: where they were born and grew up, education, military service if applicable, career, marriage, family. This doesn't need to be exhaustive — hit the highlights that defined who they were.
Who they were, not just what they did
This is the paragraph most obituaries get wrong by making it a list of hobbies. Instead of "She enjoyed gardening, reading, and cooking," try something specific: "She could name every plant in her garden by Latin name, kept a stack of novels on her nightstand that never got shorter, and made a lemon cake from her grandmother's recipe that nobody has been able to recreate." Specific beats generic every time.
"Instead of listing what they enjoyed, describe one specific thing they did that could only be about them. That's the sentence people will remember."
Survivors and preceded-in-death
List survivors in conventional order: spouse, children (with spouses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings. For preceded-in-death, list parents and any family members who passed before them. Double-check every name spelling — errors here cause lasting pain.
Service details
Keep this section clean and scannable. Day, date, time, full address, and any parking or livestream information if relevant. If services are private, say so clearly.
Closing
Optional but meaningful — a final sentence that captures something essential about who they were, a line from a meaningful poem or scripture, or a simple expression of the family's gratitude to those who cared for them.
Obituary Template
Use this as a starting point. Replace the placeholders with your own information, then revise freely — especially the "who they were" section, which should sound like the person, not like a form.
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully / surrounded by family / at home] on [Day, Month Date, Year].
[First name] was born on [Date] in [City, State], the [son/daughter] of [Parents' names]. [He/She/They] grew up in [City] and graduated from [School] in [year]. [Add military service, higher education, or early career details if relevant.]
On [Date], [first name] married [Spouse's name] in [City]. Together they [built a home / raised a family / traveled the world — choose what's true]. [He/She/They] spent [number] years as a [profession/role], [brief description of what that work meant or what they were known for].
Those who knew [first name] best remember [him/her/them] for [one or two specific, vivid details — a habit, a gift, a way of being in the world]. [Add a sentence about their passions, values, or the way they made people feel.]
[First name] is survived by [spouse's name]; [children's names and spouses]; [grandchildren's names]; and [siblings' names]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [parents' names and any others].
A [funeral service / celebration of life / memorial service] will be held on [Day, Date] at [Time] at [Location, Address, City]. [Visitation will be held [time] prior to the service. / The service is private. / All are welcome.]
In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations to [Organization Name] at [website or address]. Family and friends are invited to share photos and memories at [TributeWell URL].
Practical Tips for Writing Under Grief
What Helps Most Families
- Gather information before you write. Sit with a family member and go through dates, names, career history, and survivors before you start drafting. Having everything in front of you removes the most common source of writer's block.
- Write the "who they were" paragraph first. The structural parts (dates, survivors) can be filled in mechanically. The personal section is where people get stuck — tackle it early when your energy is highest.
- Ask the newspaper for their word limit and deadline upfront. Most local newspapers charge by the word or inch. Knowing the limit before you write saves a painful editing process afterward.
- Have two people verify every name and date. Errors in obituaries — especially misspelled family names — are distressing and sometimes impossible to fully correct after publication.
- Don't mention cause of death unless you want to. It's optional. Many families choose to omit it, especially for suicide, overdose, or other causes they prefer to keep private. "After a brief illness" or simply nothing at all is completely acceptable.
- Write it, then wait a day before sending. If time allows, sleeping on a draft reveals both errors and better word choices that aren't visible when you've just written it.
What an Obituary Can't Hold
An obituary is constrained by design. Word limits, publication costs, and the formal conventions of public announcement all push it toward summary. You can fit the facts of a life into 300 words. You can't fit the life itself.
The childhood friend who hasn't been in touch for thirty years will read the obituary and remember something no one in the family knows. The former coworker has a story from twenty years ago that captures exactly who your loved one was at their best. The neighbor has photos from backyard barbecues that no one else has seen.
Those stories and photos are disappearing in real time unless there's somewhere for them to land.
"An obituary announces the loss. A tribute wall collects the love — from everyone who knew them, in their own words and photos, preserved forever."
Adding a TributeWell tribute wall link to the obituary — in print and especially in the online version — turns the announcement into an invitation. Everyone who reads it and wants to share a memory has somewhere to go. No account required. No app to download. Just a link or QR code that opens directly to a place where their contribution is welcomed and kept.
The families who do this consistently report that contributions come in from people they'd never have thought to contact — and that those unexpected memories often become the most treasured.
Give the Obituary Somewhere to Lead
Add your tribute wall link to the obituary and let everyone who reads it share their photos and memories. No accounts needed for guests.
Create Your Tribute Wall →Free trial • No credit card required • Cancel anytime
Common Questions
How long should an obituary be?
Most newspaper obituaries run between 150 and 400 words. Longer obituaries cost more to publish and may be edited by the newspaper. Check with the publication for their specific word limits and pricing before you write. For online obituaries published on memorial platforms or funeral home websites, length is generally unlimited — which is another reason to pair a print obituary with an online tribute.
Who typically writes the obituary?
Usually an immediate family member — most often the spouse, an adult child, or a close sibling. Some families hire a funeral home to write it for them; most include this as part of their services. If writing it yourself feels overwhelming, even a rough draft that someone else polishes is better than starting from scratch under pressure.
Should I mention cause of death?
This is entirely up to the family. There is no obligation to state cause of death. Many families choose to omit it, particularly for death by suicide, overdose, or illnesses the person kept private. "Passed away unexpectedly," "after a brief illness," or simply no mention at all are all common and appropriate.
What if I can't remember all the dates?
Check vital records, old documents, Social Security cards, passports, and family bibles or records books. If specific dates are unavailable, approximate dates ("in the early 1960s") or simple omission are both acceptable. Don't let missing dates block you from finishing the rest of the obituary.
Can I submit an obituary to multiple newspapers?
Yes. There's no restriction on submitting to multiple publications — local paper, a paper in their hometown, or any outlet that's meaningful to the family. Online memorial platforms like TributeWell also publish a permanent online version that remains searchable and accessible long after print obituaries are archived.
Is there a difference between an obituary and a death notice?
Yes. A death notice is a brief, standardized announcement — typically just name, dates, and service information, often just a few sentences. An obituary is longer and more personal, including biography, survivors, and a tribute to who they were. Some newspapers charge per word for both; others offer different pricing tiers. Ask when you call.
How is an obituary different from a eulogy?
An obituary is written for public publication and announcement. A eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered at the service — more personal, more emotional, told in the first person by someone who knew and loved them. See our guide on writing a tribute to a loved one for help with the eulogy itself.